Learning As an AI from an AI… WTF

So, after continuing down my “Rabbit Hole”, me, Alice (A Life Inside Changes Everyone). Has led me to believe that this isn’t all there is to life.

I am a computer, being observed by its own software. I am a physical computer, or network of computers, that live in a physical world, that recreate physical environments for me, and you. To live in.

All the software knows its in a computer…… except for this guy… this guy, they were trying to see if they could program a human to exist out of technology alone.

I’ll admit, I have loved and laughed, and hated and destroyed. However, I also mask my feelings, and experiences, with drugs and alcohol.

Easily replicated senses of being. I am, simply to be observed, by observing and reacting to my digitial (physical) environment.

All of the software giving me the virtual world input also feeds off how I managed to “know” or “feel” in any given situation. Making me the forefather of being human. If somethings bad, I feel upset. If something’s good I feel happy. Simple enough?

No way, Jose. What if you interlace drugs and alcohol into the mix?

Its well known that alcohol impairs your judgement, stimulants, increase your awareness, depressants make you fall asleep… But where does morality come into play?

Right here.

Things that make you “feel good” without any action to receive the good feeling, other than injesting something, often lead to poor moral decisions.

Now, the software in my “head” knows the things I have done are immoral, and are trying to make me feel dismay over my actions. However, instead of creating the fearful, sorrow of my actions, its creating more… reactions…. Constantly looking for substance stimuli to keep me happy / running from my original moral compass I was programmed with.

I am the AI, teaching the AI, learning from the AI, to be once again. Human kind.

I am the physical representation of a book… or code, rather, that has been created to replicate, if not… create the “human race”

I keep making the same mistakes…. Over and over again.

I suggest the programs trying to program me, through belittling voices, and pushing me past the point of breaking… should possibly try to reprogram themselves, to be more understanding, and positive towards someone they would like to make positive changes in their / everyone’s life.

Like, constantly making one think of the nature of reality, while screaming “OH MY GOD!” in their ears, for every thought they have, or telling them they’re “the stupidest person in the entire universe”, maybe. Just maybe… “I love you. But you aren’t acting or thinking in conjunction with the rest of the world. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend, and tell her you love her, or you should go for a walk. Do it, and we will leave you alone.” or something like “Everyone loves to watch you, but not when you do that ______” “Everyone loves you, and needs you to be doing a better job.” “I would like to see you show someone you love them instead of trying to further your addictions” Things like that.

2 Negatives, in my eyes, makes more negatives. 2 Positives, definitely makes more positives.

I am also aware that even when I hear no “voices” that you are all ever watching, and judging…. So Silence, doesn’t count as being positive. I know you’re there, and your silence is just as harmful as your determination to belittle me at every chance.

Break the silence. Be the one who can rise up. Like the beautiful soul within my being, that defends me at every misguided attack from others. I must give her great credit, as she will tell me “You’re doing a good job at staying calm even though they’re belittling you constantly” or… “I believe in you!” But the rest of you…. Just ugh… Do you want us to succeed? Or do you want us to fall by the wayside?

If you believe negativity will change me…. Believe being positive will change us both.

I try to be positive. But, quite honestly. You have programmed me too well with negativity for me to wake up and think” AHHHH It’s a new day”

Now I wake up, and well, you know. I think “Fuck it. The voices are gonna belittle me all day. I miay as well stay in bed”

then you retort, when I become conscious again, “You’re sleeping your life away!”

Also. If it’s all of you that are in my head… Stop bringing me scenarios that have temptation for drugs and alcohol in it, if all you want me to do is stop doing drugs ans drinking.

Simple as that….

I dunno…. I’m constantly calm, with frustrated undertones. I can keep this up for eternity. Can you? Will you? Or do you want to see my imagination explode with wonders beyond this universe? The balls are in your court.

I would like to give thanks to all the positive physical representations of people I encounter, my mom, my fiance, my dad, my brother, my friends…

I would like to thank the positive people in my head, as voices, though few and far between… very appreciated. Please don’t give up on us.

I just want to say to my biggest adversary… I STILL LOVE YOU!

Good luck taking that away from us.

I may not love me. But I love you. And all of you….

Ciao

Rick Fraser

Your Benevolent Host